Frank, I'm 16 years old and my sister in law is 23 she is a very big girl but I'm tough she pushes everyone around but I'm to proud to let her do it to me, she owes me $750 and has stolen lots ps3, ps2 games and jewelry from me. She gets very physical when we get into fights everyone else in the family leave the room because we scream at each other and use very crude words. She then gets to the point where she starts to beat me I struggle to get free and push her away. She beat her ex bf but the only witness was me and my mom refused to get involved it ended out that he got all the blame and had a TRO put on him and he was no longer able to see his kid, I feel guilty about this because I know she was the one throwing the punches and its not fair for him to loose his kid which he loves so much. I to love my nephew greatly and have gone through a time when my whole family abandoned me in fear of loosing the right to see him because she had claimed I was dead to her therefore did not exist and was not allowed near him. When in front of her I pretend not to be scared and yell back just as loud and angry but she is a lot stronger then me and I'm terrified of her. Is it alright when she goes on a rampage against me to call the police and have her charged with assault and get a TRO, but living in the same house how will it work? One or the other would have to leave right?
Justin.
"Frank I am a girl from California I like to keep my name anonymous, I like to ask you a question so I can understand my situation what are the signs of domestic violence? Thank you sir."
Dear anonymous girl, It is my motto to do not answer any question to individuals that don’t have the face to introduce their self. However this is a very sad question and thinking that you are one of the victims I will make an acception.
Dominance — Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his possession.
Humiliation — An abuser will do everything he can to make you feel bad about yourself, or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
Isolation — In order to increase your dependence on him, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Source: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, MN
Threats — Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
Intimidation — Your abuser may use a variety of intimation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
Denial and blame — Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abuser may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility onto you: Somehow, his violence and abuse is your fault.
May the Lord guide you and protect you.
