Frank Over a year ago I found out my wife cheated on me. We are still married but I still haven’t said anything to her. Should I say anything or just let it go.Thank you for any advice, love this keep dewing a good job.
Ramon O, Jr. Oxnard
Ramon, Ask her if she wants to try swinging or polyamory. I don’t know your views on non-monogamy, but if she responds positively to your suggestion, the two of you should seriously look into the possibilities. Obviously her cheating was unfortunate because it involves deception, but you need to distinguish between whatever pain you feel from the deception, and whatever feelings you might have about non-monogamy. You can’t change the past, but you can set sail for a more promising future if you establish a new commitment together. This new commitment is not the traditional “forsaking all others” that you find in conventional marriage ceremonies, but a commitment of partnership through the adventures yet to come. At some point you should probably tell her that you know about her previous cheating, but you should do this at a time when you are feeling like you love her – NOT at a time when you are feeling bitter or resentful.
